


Living Nightmare

by Seidoo_Reiki



Category: 18 Again (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27045577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seidoo_Reiki/pseuds/Seidoo_Reiki
Summary: Dae Young's nightmares, Si Woo's pile of homework, Da Jung's pastDae Young is happy to have a reason to go back to his home. Can he even call his home... home now?
Relationships: Hong Dae Young/Jung Da Jung
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Living Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This is a full blowm angst. I write Dae Young / Woo Young rather OOC cause in the drama his self esteem issue isn't this bad, but oh well
> 
> This happened after they get divorced

People used to take things for granted. Just because you get it for nothing, just because you experience it everyday, you shouldn’t take things for granted. 

Dae Young wakes up with a lot of sweat and widened eyes. It takes a few seconds before he turns to his side and tries to find someone else, but then he realizes that he is alone. 

Right, this isn’t his home. He sighs and closes his eyes, trying to calm down his erratic breathing. 

It feels silly, but for 18 years he is used to sleeping with his wife-- no, ex-wife, Da Jung. His first instinct after waking up from such a horrible nightmare, is to find Da Jung. Just her being at his side, sleeping peacefully usually managed to calm him down more than any drug or alcohol. 

But she isn’t here, of course. He still can’t process the fact that they divorced a few days ago. 

He turns and sees the ceiling. He tries so hard not to recall his nightmare, but it still shadowed his mind. 

A flash of Da Jung wearing a pretty white wedding dress holding someone’s hand. 

A flash of his children calling someone else ‘dad’.

_ ‘We don’t need you anymore.’ _

And the flash of a rope digging into his neck. 

Dae Young trembles and hugs himself. No, they are just nightmares. They aren’t real… yet. 

He really wants to just drink his pain away with some hard liquor, but he has promised to himself to stop drinking.

But, it is hurting so much. 

Dae Young lets go out a couple of sad chuckles. 

No, this is nothing. 

He has gone through worse. The day of his divorce, he seriously thought he was going to die from a heart attack. His chest was hurting so much. But, he barely held in because he thought---

His pain was for Da Jung’s happiness. He was glad to accept all those pains as long as she could smile and be happy again. So, he managed to endure it. 

Yeah, this nightmare is nothing compared to that. The pain has been dulled after a couple of days. He just stops thinking, stops mulling, he just needs to do whatever he needs to. 

Because Da Jung still isn’t really happy. He needs to make sure that she is as happy as possible…. Before he can let her go for real. A trash like him doesn’t deserve--

Okay, for now let’s stop thinking about that. He needs to stop thinking before his own thinking destroys him.

Dae Young glances at the clock. It is still early in the morning, but he knows he won’t be able to sleep anymore. Maybe he should just run. At least he can still experience those adrenaline rush he badly needed. 

And to momentarily forget about his bleak future. 

o0o0o0o0o

“You look bad.”

“You look worse.”

Dae Young, or with his new name, Woo Young, stares at one of his children. Si Woo doesn’t look good. Then again, a divorce is hard for each member of the family. Woo Young feels bad, he shouldn’t focus just for himself. He should stop being so self-centered again.

“I just can’t sleep, no big deal,” Woo Young answers non-nonchalantly. It is the truth. He has been experiencing sleeping problems since he moved out from his home. 

Can he even call his previous home… as home anymore?

“I’m troubled with so much homeworks, the due is tomorrow…”

“Really?” Woo Young is rather surprised. Si Woo is quite diligent at studying, compared to his sister. So, it is rare to see him flustered about homework. 

“Yeah, there is a science group project. I’m supposed to do the last part, editing, adding conclusions, making the slide presentation, but the others just gave me their part today so I need to finish everything tonight,” Si Woo sighs. 

“Oh, damn, your group is so awful!” Woo Young tries to calm down his anger. It is only natural because it happens all the time with school projects, but still, his poor son. 

“Yeah, and there are math and history assignments for tomorrow too.”

No wonder even the diligent Si Woo is swamped with homework. 

“Okay, let me help you!” Woo Young smiles and pat his son’s shoulder. 

“But, shouldn’t you be busy with homework too? Si Ah is having a sleepover at her friend’s home to do some homework too.”

Woo Young glances to the other side, he can’t really tell that homework is easy peachy for him. It is nothing compared to his menial jobs for the last 18 years. And he doesn’t aim for a perfect score, he knows he just needs to do good enough so it won’t trouble him. Doing homework for a couple of hours is nothing than working straight for 16 hours a day.

“Mine is mostly done, I’m different from Si Ah. Let me help you.”

There is a shine of gratefulness in Si Woo’s eyes. “Thank you so much.”

“So, where should we do it? At the library? My home?” It still feels weird to call Deok Jin’s place as his home, but Woo Young doesn’t show his uneasiness. 

“Let’s just do it in my home, my mom is working late too.”

Woo Young smiles, he can’t hide his happiness. 

Finally he has a reason to come back to his home. 

“It settles then!”

o0o0o0o0o

Si Woo isn’t kidding with the amount of homework he needs to do today. “The teacher forgot to give this assignment a few days ago, so he just gave it to us yesterday and the due is tomorrow.”

Dae Young just snorts with a few pages of math that Si Woo needs to do. What a lame teacher, really.

“How about the history homework?”

“Si Ah just returned the book to me today, nothing I can do about it.”

“Yah! Really that girl!” Woo Young wants to scold his daughter for contributing to his son’s misery. 

Si Woo looks confused with Woo Young’s reaction. He just huffs. 

“I will work on the group project first,” Si Woo grabs his laptop and brings it to the living room. 

“Okay,” Woo Young is glancing around. His home is still the same, nothing changes. But, it makes his heart aches. 

Thankfully the house is quite clean, if not, maybe Woo Young would do all the house chores just so Da Jung can rest later. That will be hard to explain to Si Woo, even though this child of his is timid and reserved. 

Woo Young distracts himself by doing his own homework. It is good that they went shopping for some snacks before, because he can do his homework and snack at a peaceful pace. 

He massages Si Woo’s shoulder playfully a couple of times when he notices how tense his son is. Woo Young also helps with Si Woo’s group project. Even though he isn’t familiar with making slide presentations, he knows how to write some conclusion chapters for papers like this. 

“It doesn’t need to be perfect, just relax.”

Woo Young is worried because Si Woo has been stuck at making the slides for a couple of hours now. 

“No, it should be. The score depends on the presentation. The others will blame me if we get a bad mark,” Si Woo sighs. 

“Then they should do their parts faster,” Woo Young complains. The sky is dark already. They have finished their simple dinner, instant ramen, before diving back into homework, or at least for Si Woo’s case. 

Woo Young has finished all of his homework while devouring all the snacks they bought. 

The young dad reaches Si Woo’s other homework. Woo Young has done these assignments last week, these aren’t too hard. Woo Young glances at the clock, but at this point Si Woo will wake up all night to do all of this. 

That is the disadvantage of being perfectionist while doing assignments. 

“I think, this is okay…,” Si Woo sighs and massages his head. 

“Good job,” Woo Young smiles sadly, there are still two assignments left. 

Woo Young can see Si Woo’s eyes are growing heavily. Right, this child used to not be able to wake up past nine PM. Woo Young chuckles slightly while remembering how he used to tuck in the sleepy Si Woo. 

“Aaah… didn’t we buy some energy drinks? I need it,” Si Woo looks ready to crash himself to bed. 

Woo Young glances to the plastic bag beside him and pushes it aside. Those energy drinks aren’t healthy and Si Woo needs to rest. 

“You are almost done with the history assignment, you can go to sleep now. You still have time to do the rest of them tomorrow at school, or even, early in the morning.”

“No, it is only a little bit more, I just need to wake up to finish this… Maybe mom saves some energy drinks at the fridge…,” Si Woo is walking toward the fridge, but Woo Young gets up faster and puts his hand on Si Woo’s shoulder. 

“No, seriously. You need to sleep. It is okay, you can continue everything tomorrow, okay?” Woo Young persuades Si Woo. His kid doesn’t need to depend on energy drinks from this young age, his heart will ache if they do. 

Si Woo looks so sleepy and he has been doing his homework ever since they got home. Of course he is tired and sleepy.

“I guess so..,” Si Woo finally agrees. He is such a docile kid, Woo Young wants to kiss his forehead but he calms down his urge. 

“Now, you need to brush your teeth and change into your sleeping clothes, you can wake up early in the morning to do the rest of the assignments.”

Si Woo nods sleepily, Woo Young smiles. He watches Si Woo brushing his teeth half asleep and then changes into his pajamas. The kid can barely open his eyes, how could he try to stay awake for this long?

“Ah… you need to go back…,” Si Woo just realizes this. 

“I can excuse myself, don’t worry,” Woo Young says. Si Woo nods a little and lies down on the bed. It seems he is already asleep before his head touches the pillow. 

“Oh geez,” Woo Young smiles and pulls the blanket to cover his dear son. 

He pats Si Woo’s head gently before he excuses himself from the room. 

Now, Woo Young is alone. 

The young dad glances at the pile of homework.

He knows he shouldn’t be doing this, but oh well. 

Si Woo has been studying enough, it won’t hurt to help a little bit. 

o0o0o0o0o

Sometimes, Woo Young feels like he is dreaming. To be young again is so bizarre, let alone to go to high school again. But, for Si Ah and Si Woo, it is worth it. And he remembers how someone was so fond of studying. He needs to study while he can. 

Woo Young finishes both assignments in less than two hours. Si Woo can just accept it or redo it, it is up to him. Woo Young just wants to help him, and school shouldn’t be all about studying too. 

Woo Young glances at the clock. It is one AM in the morning. It worries him a little that Da Jung isn’t back yet. He hopes that she is okay. He hopes that she is just hanging out with Ae Rin like usual. 

It feels like a dream, to be in this home, worrying about her. If he ignores his school uniform and a pile of homework on the table, Dae Young can pretend that nothing ever happened. 

He can pretend that he is still married to Da Jung, that he is waiting for her return. 

He can pretend that this is still his home. 

He can’t really explain it, but his home just felt different. The smell, the air, the sound, everything is relaxing. It puts his mind at ease, it feels right. 

Even though Deok Jin’s place isn’t bad, it is still different. 

Even the slightest sound of Si Woo’s turning around in his bed, it makes Woo Young smile. The sound of his children, the sound of his wife, everything. 

Now, he feels sleepy. 

He feels safe. 

Though there is this dark shadow in his mind.

That this isn’t his home any longer. 

And the reality is even harsher than his nightmare. 

o0o0o0o0o

It is refreshing to be able to drink away her sorrow once a while, in Da Jung’s opinion. She isn't much drinker, but alcohol is good to forget the pain. The divorce is hitting her harder than she thought. And even though she and her family pretend that everything is okay, the truth is no, they aren’t okay. 

It might be not the best coping mechanism, but this is how they do it. 

Da Jung enters the house quietly. Si Woo must have gone to sleep and Si Ah had a sleepover at her friend’s place. Da Jung notices a pile of books and paper at the side of the table, maybe they are Si Woo’s. Though, he is usually neat and tidy. Then again, the amount of studying for high school students can drive them mad, he deserves some slack. 

“Oh that’s surprised me!” Da Jung calms down her erratic heart beat when she discovers someone sleeping on the couch. Since the light is dim, it is hard to see him at first. 

“Woo Young?” she whispers to herself. 

It confuses her at first, to see his son’s friend sleeping on the sofa with his school uniform. It looks like he is simply just passed out there. 

The students are working hard, Da Jung smiles. She glances at the clock, it might be way too late to send him home and it has been awhile since her children’s friends have sleepovers in their house. 

Still, it is uncomfortable to sleep on the sofa with his school uniform. 

Woo Young can use Si Woo’s sleeping wear and sleep on the folding bed in Si Woo’s room. Da Jung is ready to wake up his son’s friend so he can move out from the uncomfortable couch. But she pauses. 

There are soft whimpers coming out from him and tears rolling out from his closed eyes. 

It gives Da Jung a shock. 

Woo Young is… even though he is young, that kid feels weirdly dependable. He looks strong and tough for his age. So it is shocking to see him vulnerable like this. 

And the weird thing is, Da Jung feels her heart aches so much to see him like this. 

It feels like seeing him in this state physically pained her, which doesn’t make any sense. He reminds her of Dae Young too much, her eyes are teary.

Da Jung slowly reaches his head and pats his hair gently, as soft as possible.

“It’s alright,” that is Dae Young’s favorite phrase. When things were hard, when life was bitter, he always said it to her. 

The whimpers slowly stop. Da Jung sighs in relief. It still amazes her how much this kid resembles her ex-husband. Even how he whimpers in sleep, even how he crashes at the sofa, they are resembling each other so much. 

It reminds Da Jung so much of the past, how Dae Young also used to crash at the sofa like this, too tired to even go to the bed in their room. When his working hours were inhumanly, when he wore himself out. 

Da Jung can still remember that clearly. 

o0o0o0o0o

_ “No, I can’t do this.” _

_ “Why not?” _

_ “Do you even need to ask?” _

_ “You got the scholarship, you finally can go to college, what is wrong with that? Remember our deal? If you manage to get the scholarship, you go to college, let me handle the rest.” _

_ “I agreed because I was sure I wouldn't get it. Dae Young, if I go to college then I can’t work! I won’t be able to handle college, house chores, raising our kids and working part time at the same time!” _

_ “I never ask you to work if you go to college. Like I said, let me handle the rest.” _

_ “Then how can we cover all of our expenses?” _

_ “Easy, I can get another job.” _

_ “You mean, you will work two jobs!? You can’t rest if you do that!” _

_ “Da Jung, listen to me. Lets do this, while we are still young, while I’m still young. The kids are old enough, they are quite independent now.” _

_ At that time, Da Jung didn’t understand the words ‘while I’m still young’ from Dae Young’s mouth. Because they were still young. They were 28 years old.  _

_ “Stil, it will be hard for you…” _

_ “Don’t you want to chase your dream? Let’s do it, Da Jung. Don’t worry too much, let’s try it first.” _

_ At that time, she didn’t know that he had given up his dream completely.  _

_ “Okay…” _

_ \---- _

_ Attending college, doing house chores, raising kids at the same time weren’t easy, just like what Da Jung feared. It is so hard to jumble all of that.  _

_ But the scariest part was to see Dae Young pushing himself to the edge.  _

_ Working full time two jobs at the same time, 16 hours a day, they were inhuman. No matter how Dae Young used to be an athlete and have great stamina, it wore himself thin.  _

_ Too see Dae Young suddenly sleep during meal time or playing with the kids, they were a scary sight. Some part of Da Jung worried that he wouldn’t wake up again.  _

_ But everytime Da Jung reminded him to ask if she needed to just drop out from the college, Dae Young would suddenly get a full day off and refresh himself, like nothing had happened and he was okay.  _

_ But, he wasn’t okay.  _

_ It pained her, but he always said that he didn’t want to see her give up at chasing her dream.  _

_ He didn’t want to fail at supporting her dream.  _

_ The kids were angry because Dae Young spent less time with them, even when he was home, he was sleeping all the time. Da Jung tried to make them understand, but understanding it for 3 years was hard.  _

_ There were so many nights Dae Young passed out on the couch, with his working gears. Sometimes he even passed out at the doorway, which always gave Da Jung a shock.  _

_ But usually he slept beside her, in a restless way. She always hugged him and patted his head, to calm his nights. Sometimes he cried in his sleep, because he was too tired and his body was all aching, he couldn’t even rest properly. In those times, Da Jung sang him a lullaby, massaged his aching limbs and kissed his forehead.  _

_ Her dear husband was working so hard for her dream, it broke her heart.  _

_ When she graduated, the one who cried harder was Dae Young.  _

_ Everyone always said how amazing she was, to be able to graduate and raise kids at the same time.  _

_ But no one knew, the amazing one was her husband.  _

_ “Well, I just work my as* off, no big deal.” _

_ That was his answer when she complained how no one praised him, she hit him playfully because he used curse words in front of the kids. Then she kissed him dearly.  _

_ Without him, she would never be able to reach her dream.  _

_ He was her hero. _

o0o0o0o0o

Dae Young opens his eyes fast. There is this familiar sound and smell, but his head tells him that something is wrong. He sits and groans at his aching body. Right, sleeping on the couch gives this side effect. It is good that he is in his young body--

He checks his clothes, yes, he is still wearing his school uniform. He touches his face, this smooth skin. Yeah, he is still stuck in his 18 years old body. Then, what happened---

“Oh, Woo Young, good morning.”

Right, for a moment his heart sank a lot. He thought--- he thought everything was just a bad dream. 

But the reality is his living nightmare, he guesses. 

“I guess, I accidentally slept here even though I didn’t plan to,” Woo Young folded the blanket that covered his body.

“Yeah, by the time I went home, you already passed out on the couch. You were sleeping soundly so I didn’t dare to wake you up.”

Da Jung is cooking breakfast, though it is still quite early. The sky is still a little bit dark. 

“You are cooking breakfast,” that is a statement. Da Jung rarely cooks breakfast this early, The family is used to just eating bread, cereal or rice with leftover side dishes in the fridge for breakfast. 

“Yeah, right. What? Do you think I don’t cook breakfast?” Da Jung playfully looked insulted. But Woo Young can see faint redness on the edge of her eyes. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, feeling worried. With Da Jung cooking breakfast is already weird enough, and her eyes are red, something is wrong. 

“I’m okay,” she lies. 

“Your eyes are red,” Woo Young says with a flat face. Like she can lie to him, he can read her like an open book. 

“This is because I drank a lot last night. So, I made hangover soup for breakfast,” she explains with a smile.

No, her hangover soup is simply a red ginseng pouch with spicy instant ramen, Woo Young knows. But, he can’t pressure her if she doesn’t want to tell him about it. Then again, maybe she still takes their divorce quite hard. 

Weird, he thought she would jump in joy after getting divorced from a failure like him. 

He felt happy, a little bit. But then he scolds himself for being happy to see her sad. 

“It’s alright, don’t worry.”

He smiles at her, she looks shocked. 

“I don’t know what happened, but… it’s alright,” he adds. 

‘So, don’t be sad anymore,’ is what he can’t say.

Maybe he is completely trash. Part of him is happy, to see her unhappy, because it means she still needs him. Because it means he still has a place on her side, even though he lost the right to love her. He still has the right to make her smile.

He would only go from her life, after he makes sure that Da Jung and their children are completely safe and happy. 

After that he might live alone, miserably, drinking his life away and dying alone. He doesn’t know, he doesn’t care. That isn’t important. What is important is her and their children. 

“Thank you, Woo Young,” she smiles sincerely at him. He smiles back. 

He can still see sadness deep inside her eyes. It seems it would take a while to erase all those pains. For now, he can stay at her side, just for now.

And he is happy with that. 

And that is enough.

See, he is completely a trash, isn’t he?

  
End

**Author's Note:**

> I want Da Jung to hug our poor Dae Young that is why I write this fanfic
> 
> Do you want this to continue? Though, it will be quite angsty


End file.
